Ever found yourself hysterically weeping in a fast-food joint’s parking lot, your best friend simultaneously trying to hand-feed you and keep hair straight back while you yell, “just take me personally away! Exactly how am I going to actually ever go on? I’ll never love once more!” through snotty tears? Or are you presently … perhaps not gay?

Ah, heartbreak! Why tracks are sung and mural art are colored, the motivation behind high art-like

Romeo and Juliet

and

Red (Taylor’s Type)

. I thought I’d viewed every thing, believed most of the pain. But we
began matchmaking women
— and unfortunately, something they forget about to say at Lesbian Orientation is the fact that very first queer breakup will damage you, in a “may I end up being hospitalized for this immense and insurmountable struggling” kind of means. At long last experiencing actually and emotionally attracted (and dedicated) to some body you like only hits different.

A few weeks before, I found myself personally in throes of my personal very first lesbian breakup. I break up my personal ex’s shirt into one thousand pieces, smeared dog poop throughout it, and left it out to allow them to find in the leading yard. I quickly retired on the comfort of my own despair cave (my bed) and performed what any heartbroken Gen Z–millennial cusp have to do mid-breakup: doomscroll on TikTok to the early several hours. But when I launched the application while the small FBI man in my own telephone shuttled myself straight to leading page of Lesbian TikTok, we quickly discovered the sapphic gods had not only come for my situation — they had come for people

all

. In terms of queer TikToker Victoria Paris, ”
The white homosexual women tend to be combating!
”

Blame it regarding the
Lesbian Separation Curse
. While in the couple of days I was unplugged from the online world, sleeping facedown back at my kitchen area floor and sensation sorry for myself, Lesbian TikTok completely imploded over several high-profile queer breakups that tore the #wlw neighborhood to pieces.

It seems as if all TikTok lesbians are splitting up simultaneously, as well as the crisis makes

Adore Isle

appear like kid’s play. Per some, the Curse was
at first cast
whenever lesbian pop music star Fletcher started teasing a track from her coming record album,

Girl of My Goals

. The track, “Becky’s therefore Hot,” defines precisely how hot her ex’s brand new gf is actually and shows that she really wants to learn how hot-girl Becky “tastes.” Fletcher’s ex, prominent LGBTQ YouTuber Shannon Beveridge, quickly took to TikTok by herself in reaction to your tune, making clear that “no-one requested authorization.” Gay
disorder
ensued.

Abruptly, celebrity lovers ranging from A-lister
JoJo Siwa
and previous girl Kylie Prew, to school basketball star
Sedona Prince
and former girlfriend Rylee LeGlue had been separating faster than they may U-Haul in the first place. Together with gays online had been Eating! It! Upwards! There had been clapback duets, incriminating review
threads
, not so sly excursions to
Disneyland
, $80
merch
available,
exact receipts
— how can a lesbian with a full time task and a screen-time limit on the phone possibly actually keep up?! Well, used to do what any heartbroken lesbian should do at any given time in this way: I also known as out from work, popped many popcorn, took a couple of Klonopin, smashed that “dismiss maximum” switch, and held scrolling.

If your wanting to come at me for reveling inside the suffering of genuine people, here’s finished .: when you are in your dark spot, it may feel well to watch another person’s existence falter. If not, so why do we enjoy incredible truth programs like

Appreciation Island

or

90 Day Fiancé

? Even a beneficial traditional rom-com can hit the spot. Drama heals drama, and absolutely nothing shuts your mind down that can compare with projecting your own pain and struggling onto innocent Brits exactly who just want to get a hold of really love in a villa.

The Lesbian Breakup Curse is more than merely a mysterious (and perchance astrological) experience seizing the social-media feeds. It fulfills a necessity for content which is relatable, practical, and connected to the queer society. As I was actually finally capable secure my personal cellphone, dry my rips, put on some chunky program boots, and make L.A. lesbian club world by violent storm, the #1 topic of dialogue was, predictably, the Curse. It is all of our Ultra Bowl.

Lesbian representation into the news is actually little (and questionable!) at best, so when you are considering mindless gay breakup material, it’s thin pickings for us queers. This fixation using the exclusive online dating physical lives of lesbian ladies stems from a desperation for really great gay TV. Whenever we had a lesbian dating tv series involving carabiners, the Woods on a Wednesday night, and touring 12 many hours and three time areas for an initial time, we probably wouldn’t need to focus so much on a “curse” which was outlined for people on TikTok.

Very indeed, it really is true I happened to be a sufferer associated with the Lesbian separation Curse (it seems that, it hits many of those with under 100 fans on TikTok, as well), nevertheless pulled me up by the bootstraps, slapped me personally around once or twice, got me personally through dog-poop phase, and assisted myself obtain some necessary point of view. Indeed, i believe We’ll loan my whole data recovery on Curse — we gays actually carry each other up, do not we? And these are lifting upwards, not fret, no exes were injured inside the authorship of your story. Actually, after half a session of couples therapy plus one Phoebe Bridgers show, we aren’t just exes any longer. (Gay, i understand.)